Saturday, June 23, 2012

Sweet Saturday Sample

I almost missed it this week. Welcome back! Since this one is in such a rush, please excuse any typos, sorry.

The excerpt is from Duty, which is told in its entirety from Brielle's POV in the first person. (She isn't a selfish narrator, so please give her a try.) In this selection, the other speaker is Lord Dentin, the head of security of the realm, as he escorts her to meet the king.


“I don’t know whether to be afraid or flattered.” (Brielle said)

“Why?” He (Lord Dentin) smiled, but his eyes narrowed.

“The king sent the man responsible for the security of the realm to escort me to my presentation. Does he think I intend to assassinate him?”

“You are armed.” His eyebrows rose and his eyes challenged me, but the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.

“It is intended to be for show. You may take it.” I offered the knife, but Dentin made no move to take it.

“Keep it. Tomas sent me.”

I returned the dagger to its sheath. “Is he afraid I will assassinate the king?”

Dentin laughed. “Hardly. He thought you would need support, a conclusion I do not share.”

“So you are here as a friend?”

“In part.” He offered his left arm for support.

“The other part?” I lay my hand upon his forearm.

“Parts, my lady, first and foremost, I am a loyal subject of the king.” He led the way through the tent city. Our men fell into formation behind us like the train of a regal gown.

“I am as well.”

“So, treason does not run in the family?”

I tensed. “I am not my cousin, my lord. We are nothing alike.”

He turned to scan my face with a care. I met his scrutiny with a steady regard. His brown eyes were pleasantly shaped. He had even features, a strong jaw, well-proportioned nose, and a pleasing smile hidden behind the tension at the moment. I returned my gaze to his eyes. I had nothing to hide from this man.


What do you think?

Thank you for stopping by for this Sweet Saturday Sample. 
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solagratiasolafide said...

Argh! You leave me hanging every time you post one of these samples. *sigh* It's ok tho- makes reading the finished work that much better since all the questions get answered :)

Audra said...

I am getting excited for when I can read it all together :)

Audra said...

I am getting excited for when I can read it all together :)

Rachel Rossano said...

Thank you solagratiasolafide and Audra.

Hopefully I will be able to share the whole story soon. I am eager to get the rough draft finished and hand it off to my beta readers. It will be a while (months) until it is published, but I hope to push this one through quickly.

Sandra said...

I think Brielle is a spunky heroine! I like your excerpt!

Elaine Cantrell said...

Wonder what the king wants? Great excerpt.

Lindsay said...

I love the heroine and her fearlessness

Marsha Ward said...

I like Lord Dentin. He seems to be an honorable guy.

Rachel Rossano said...

Yes, Sandra, Brielle is definitely spunky. She has more strength than I and no fear of meeting men eye to eye.

Oh, Elaine, I don't the king even really knows what he wants beyond Brielle's cousin getting his just rewards.

Lindsay, I like that aspect of Brielle too. She has her vulnerable places, but she is very good at acting fearless when it is needed.

Oh, Marsha, I am so glad you like him too. He is, but he is so complex one can never be completely certain what his motivation is or how he will react. I am finding him infinitely interesting.

Thank you all of you for stopping by and reading my excerpt.